The Helen Cho Interview

Anthony sat down with Helen recently and asked the questions America’s dying to hear answered. Or not.

Q: So, Helen, where does one hire a crackhead rodeo clown?
Well Tony, I could tell you but then I would have to kill you, so let’s just say that we have many multi-talented ZPZ employees here…

Q And I’m wondering..cause I’ve seen people asking on the site: When DO the new episodes start airing? Nobody tells me nothing.
Tentatively, new episodes start airing February 14, 2011, Mondays at 10p.

Q: I just love my adorable Russian sidekick, Zamir. When’s he going to be back on the show?  Did we close a deal for Cuba with him? Or is his agent asking too much money?
Zamir will somehow always find a place on No Reservations…whether it’s randomly popping up at the office insisting that he has some “goodies” for you or suspiciously demanding some tapes that he supposedly owns. Word on the street is that he most likely will somehow slip his way into a No Res episode soon, Cuba or not, as he somehow always manages to do…

Q: What do you think is up with that guy’s haircut on Ghost Hunters? Is that America’s Most Haunted Faux-Hawk or what?
Is itGhost Hunters? Or Ghost Adventures?  Or Ghost Whisperers? Either way, I’m not trying to fuck with some dude who talks to dead people…

Q: Given the unlovely personal habits, mental health histories and criminal pasts of most of them, which member of the ZPZ staff would be most worrisome to be marooned with on a desert island?
Tough question…I would be worried to be on an island with just about any ZPZ staff member but the most worrisome of all would have to be the infamous Diane Schutz. As seen in such episodes as Making of India, Diane is notorious for being the first to swoop in for the kill when good food is on the table.  And in desperate times on the island, I can just imagine…”oh hey Helen, are you gonna eat that coconut?”….”how does that palm tree sap taste?”….”so…what kind of fish you got there?…”.  But then again, I worship the woman - she is the queen of swag and snacks. And if there’s anyone who could magically make some famous chef appear to cook us up some grub, it’s Diane. And right when the waters would run low with fish and we’re on the brink of starvation, she would somehow land us reservations at some invisible secret restaurant on the island that she’s made previous arrangements with to appear out of thin air, perfectly in time with a comp’d meal of course….and plus, she’s also got the Mary Poppins bag of infinite snacks.

 Q:  Could I have a complete and comprehensive list of WHERE we’re going to do shows this season? Me and Chris were swacked when we wrote it and now I like totally forget.
The season 7 lineup (of course, subject to change, as always) : 
701 Nicaragua 
702 Cambodia
703 Haiti
704 Vienna
705 Ozarks
706 Boston
707 Brazil
708 Japan
709 Cuba 
710 Macau
711 El Bulli
712 US Desert
713 Congo
714 Yemen
715 Memphis

 

(Source: facebook.com)